If you struggle with knowing when to say no to a client, or for taking on another project, this tool may help you. I call it the Values Exercise. The benefit of doing the Values Exercise is to uncover your core values and the reason that is beneficial is that staying in alignment with your core values can help you know when to say, “No,” even if it’s to a potential lead. It’s heating up this summer and all we have is our time to give before we get paid so knowing when to say no would be helpful, right?
The Values Exercise
1. Think of 4 people you really admire. Living or dead, whether you know them or not. Write their names on a sheet of paper with 5 spaces under each.
2. Think about each person individually. What qualities to you admire about them? What is it about their personality that makes them stand out to you? Write down your top 5 qualities for each person.
3. Pay attention to similarities. Are there any words that show up more than once? Cirlce those words.
4. Recognize that the qualities that you wrote down are things that you value. The things that repeatedly show up could be your core values. To really drill down to what’s most important to you, you may want to repeat this process with 10 more people to see what shows up.
Ready for the good news? You already have these qualities within yourself. You wouldn’t be able to recognize them if you didn’t. Perhaps though, you would like to draw those values out of your personality more.
For example, a client today discovered that he values dependability, leadership, discipline, commitment, and being goal oriented. He recognized that sometimes these qualities show up for him in his own personality, however not as often as he would like.
The solution? Create an affirmation bringing your core values into the present tense for yourself and repeat it several times each day until you believe it and it becomes true for you. My client created this affirmation: “I am a dependable, disciplined, committed leader exceeding my goals daily!”
He said the best place for him to recite his affirmation each day would be in the shower. “Brilliant!” I say. He’s going to type up his affirmation and have it laminated and hang it in the shower. (Isn’t that awesome?!?) He’ll also put a copy in his wallet and in front of his desk at work. Science proves that repeating affirmations works to retrain our brains how to think if we want to create new habits and BE better.
The benefit is that we can use our core values as a litmus test to help create healthy boundaries for ourselves and know when to say no. This is especially important for the entrepreneuer that only has their time to give before they get paid and has a tendancy to over commit because they want to exceed expectations. Sometimes we say yes so much that we over promise and under deliver which puts us out of alignment with our core values and causes us stress.
The next time someone asks you for something that you could do, yet you know you don’t have the time or shouldn’t be doing because you already have other commitments, ask yourself if it contributes to each of your core values. If it does not, politely decline and walk away. And don’t feel guilty. Your spirit will thank you and you’ll get more of what you want because you’ll be in a healthy alignment with your core values.
